My Evil Aunty

When Nigeria isn't sending gay men to prison for years for being gay, they're making movies. And boy are they.

The "Nollywood" film industry there loves to make movies that fall in the category of what's called "Christian Horror." You'll only find this in Nigeria for some reason because I have yet to see a movie anywhere else where you'll watch a Gospel message and be scared to turn off the lights in the room at the same time. These movies are a hit on YouTube. 

They always have the same story-line of someone in the village using evil powers and they're usually witches because Nigeria seems to have a real problem with witches who steal husbands and cause abortions. These "witches" are either little kids or hot girls wandering around in a group planning evil. In one scene I could swear when a group of pretty witches were walking through the forest, one of the actresses playing a witch fell down a hill into bushes and filming didn't stop.

They also love characters of evil stepmothers who are trying to poison the family, ghost people who live in the forest who are up to no good, and Godly men who can make lightning bolts coming out of their Bible to defeat these Satanic beings. The movie thumbnails on YouTube always have bug-eyed women that would look racist if posted anywhere else. Actors stand around like they're ready for the rice to finish on the stove when they aren't talking during a scene. Nigeria could do with some acting coaches, but they're probably all in prison for being gay.

I know there's the heart behind these movies with a budget of 3 Sonoran hot dogs from a Mexican food cart, but I just can't get out of my head that these people would gladly chase me into to sea for being gay when they aren't in front of the cameras dealing with all the witches. 

I would put an image of a movie poster for one of these films here, but it would look racist. So instead, here's a street food tour from two sweet ladies who probably hate my guts for being a batty boy.